THE REDACTED LOOK.
Our new app redacts the faces of people whose face you can't stand to look at.
The redacted look, popularized by the Epstein files, is all the rage now for hiders and exposers and regrettable-choice-makers.
THE REDACTOR is a new, stress-relieving app that uses A.I. to identify the face of whomever you can’t stand to look at anymore.
When you upload THE REDACTOR app to your devices, a floating black square will follow that face you can’t stand to look at whenever and whenever it appears.
You’ll never have to see that &6$%^ face again!®
Imagine automatically blocking the face, or the whatever… of, just as an example, Ronald McDonald Trump a.k.a Emperor Gluteus Maximus.
Maybe the T-Man should stop cheaping out on his underpants game and buy himself some of the fancy underpants that the Jeff E-man woman-hater bought as a present for Woody Allen. So fun!
“A series of emails detailed the purchase of 31 Sea Island cotton boxer shorts and 31 Sea Island cotton shirts, all size medium, from the Swiss luxury underwear brand Zimmerli — birthday gifts for Woody Allen totaling $9,858.” - The New York Times
Clearly Mr. Allen’s own underwear was embarrassing, lacking, stained, soiled, torn, old, yellow or somehow not acceptable for a dinner party at the Epstein residence when company’s coming.
I’m super excited for the Jeffrey Epstein Holiday Gift Catalog and Guide in the NY Times.
The photo below is not an affiliate link, but it would make a great ad campaign for the Zimmerli Sea Island x Jeffrey Epstein collab!
Anyway, it’d be fun to launch THE REDACTOR at the new White House ballroom we all can’t wait to not see. It’s almost touching to see a grown man make all his dreams come true by having a big, beautiful ball room of his very own to meet princes and princesses in.
STFU!
If you upgrade your app to REDACTOR PLUS, it has the deeply satisfying STFU function
Perfect for this POS’s SOTU speeches you can block anyone’s grating whine - or the MOCK function can translate what he says into the voice of one of his imitators.
Whether the subject of your disgust is looking oily posing with a bunch of “Hawaiian Tropic Girls,” or doing the white man overbite with “disgraced financier” Jeffrey Epstein while pointing out the hotness of Miss Teen pageant competitors, not having to look at that face is now as easy as saying, “Hey Siri, REDACT DONALD TRUMP!”
P.U.!
Masking the jumbo-sized-dumped-in-diaper aroma of Don’s signature odor is something that America’s scientists are currently devoting all of our scanty resources to, particularly those closest to the President and really particularly to those who are firmly behind him.
Stay tuned for future software updates.
