“Waffling” is a striped summer look you can achieve by sitting around in the heat until your exposed body parts adhere to outdoor furniture, forming a lasting pattern.
Sink into the height of summer style with the deep-madras, grilled-swordfish-ish, flesh mesh of The Waffled Look!
Here in NYC, “achieving deep waffle” is a mark of louche distinction, indicating committed hunkering down.
It shows that you’re the kind of person who sticks around and isn’t afraid to show it.
Whether you achieve waffling across your thighs at the MoMA sculpture garden or by air-grilling your forearms on a tar beach tabletop, the waffled look is perfect for those who find the prospect of an all-A/C-summer a little chilling and want to wear their resistance as a tartan-impressioned sleeve.
Pictured with a waffled forearm that indicates a deeply-seated commitment to being “here for it” is Susan Hwang, one member of the NYC trio, The Debutante Hour.
Speaking of being here for it… Stick around for The Debutante Hour at Joe’s Pub Wednesday August 2nd at 7 PM!
The Debutante Hour is Maria Sonevytsky (accordion/ukelele), Mia Pixley (cello), and Susan Hwang (drums/accordion) implementing the traditional shamanic devices of three-part harmony, cello, accordion, bari-ukulele, and hobo drums.
The Debutante Hour’s all-together charming performances are a bright, fizzy,bracingly-refreshing tonic.
Harmonies are highly Hermette-ic: singular voices, joining together to create a joyful sound.
The Debutante Hour will perform live at the legendary Joe’s Pub at the Public Theater 425 Lafayette Street in NYC on Wednesday, August 2, 2023 at 7 PM.
Seeing them in person gives a person a sense of what a world of perfect harmony might feel like for about an hour.
The Debutante Hour released their first full-length album, "The Birth and Death of Meaning" in March of 2010 produced by Franz Nicolay, featuring fun and talented guests like Brian Viglione (Dresden Dolls), Ed Pastorini (101 Crustaceans) and Jonathan Vincent (Thintap Woodsap, Girls in Trouble). Their second recording is an EP of covers titled "Follow Me" -- also produced by Franz Nicolay and recorded at Olive Juice Music in NYC, released in March 2011. They released another full-length album of original songs, "An Awkward Time with The Debutante Hour," in early 2012.
Written in response to the book "Oranges" by John McPhee, The Debutante Hour’s newest EP, "The Citrus Suite: Three songs about Oranges," makes a lasting impression.
I just published my first note on Substack Notes, and would love for you to join me there.
Hermette Magazine is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts become a subscriber. Free or cultivate your generous nature and cough up whatever you can spare. Hermette only comes out when it feels like it and you should too, babe.
Notes is a new space on Substack for us to share links, short posts, quotes, photos, and more. I plan to use it for things that don’t fit in the newsletter, like work-in-progress or quick questions.
Head to substack.com/notes or find the “Notes” tab in the Substack app. As a subscriber to Hermette Magazine, you’ll automatically see my notes. Feel free to like, reply, or share them around!
You can also share notes of your own. I hope this becomes a space where every reader of Hermette Magazine can share thoughts, ideas, and interesting quotes from the things we're reading on Substack and beyond.
Why Substack Notes
Fellow writers and readers are spending time in Notes for a variety of reasons.
The idea behind Notes is simple. Millions of people now participate in Substack as writers and readers—but much of this is built on long articles and essays. We now have a forum for dialoguing and sharing shorter posts.
Chris Ryan is drawn to Substack as an alternative for legacy social media.
One of my main reasons for joining Substack was to wean myself off exploitative social media platforms. I’m hoping this is going to help move us along on that journey!
Sherman Alexie wants to create a kind and creative new space in Notes.
I’m going to focus on being positive, with my own thoughts and photos and by linking to songs, stories, poems from around the web and from other Substacks.
If you encounter any issues, you can always refer to the Notes FAQ for assistance. Looking forward to seeing you there!
Now is the perfect time to reevaluate our tedious, punitive, joyless tax system.
Why would billionaires, or anyone else, want to pay taxes?
Hermette Magazine is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Pay your taxes and no one knows you’ve done it.
You don’t get a thank you. You don’t get an I PAID TAXES sticker. You don’t get naming privileges. You don’t even get a tote bag!
The only person who knows how much money you actually have is your accountant and their goal is to make you look as broke as possible!
If they want to attract big-money philanthropists, the I.R.S. is going to have to become a little less U.S.S.R. and a lot more D.K.N.Y.!
If we amp up the glamour and change our tone, High Worth Individuals everywhere will be crawling all over each other to pay the most every April.
TACTIC 1: THE SPRING TAX GALA
Rich Americans love to give money away, as long as they get some credit, some gratitude, and some shrimp cocktail.
So let’s transform Tax Day from a grim day of waiting in line at the post office into a nighttime black-tie benefit gala!
The annual by-invitation-only Spring Tax Gala will be open to only the individual and corporate champions of that fiscal year.
The Spring Tax Gala will be the event of the year, eclipsing the Met Gala and making every other benefit gala moot - because it will raise enough money to take care of everything anyone ever raised money for, making all other benefit galas unnecessary!
Then, for the rest of the year, every event the rich attend won’t have to pretend to revolve around bummer causes like cancer research and hunger.
Every cause will be taken care of and wealthy Americans will finally be allowed to have the kind of guilt-free fun that the poor enjoy!
The rich are highly competitive people. We need to create a peacocky race to top-shelf-wealth tiers where the winners are the ones who pay the most.
TACTIC 2: INVITATIONS VS. SUMMONSES
What billionaire wants to open a tersely-worded I.R.S. summons printed on flimsy newsprint?
The right paper stock can transform any message.
Do people need an engraved invitation to donate millions of dollars?
Absolutely they do and it’s a small price to pay!
And sending a thank you card never hurt either. The I.R.S. needs to learn some M.A.N.N.E.R.S.
TACTIC 3: REBRAND “CITIZENSHIP” as “MEMBERSHIP.”
Status is everything! That’s what our government just doesn’t seem to understand.
People will pay more for a gold credit card. Why should people who owe money look rich?
We should create a public-facing evaluation of every citizen-member of America’s contribution, with metal finishes that incentivize giving more: like Copper, Silver, Gold, and Platinum.
People will have to use the card that denotes their actual tax contribution all year.
Non-citizens who pay taxes will have guest memberships. It’s the gracious thing to do - and their contributions count!
Those who donate at the highest levels will receive the admiration they desire and everyone will want to pay more.
Because, while it feels exclusive, anyone can be in the highest tax bracket. (Which will be renamed the “highest wealth tier”!) All they have to do is buy their way in! What’s more American than that?
HOW ABOUT A REAL BANK OF AMERICA?
Let’s get rid of rapacious, failing banks that flaunt patriotic imagery while gouging us all with high fees and crappy interest rates, even after we’ve bailed them out with our tax dollars.
Instead, let’s connect our citizen membership cards to one national bank that isn’t just backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. Treasury… it IS the U.S. Treasury! Give everyone membership, perks, prestige, and credit… and we can all earn interest that benefits all of us.
While we’re at it, let’s give our citizen members mileage credit on all of the airlines they’ve bailed out! Open those lounges!
CITIZENSHIP HAS ITS PRIVILEGES
We need to make people feel like they’re in a country that’s more like a club!
For the cost of a glossy brochure enumerating the status and benefits you get with your membership mailed out to everyone each Spring, everyone will feel like their membership is worth it!
With your citizen membership, you already receive:
-access to thousands of parks and beaches
-well-stocked libraries with knowledgeable research librarians
-free schools
-modern and safe airports
-door-to-door roads
-water delivery to all of your homes
-24-hour emergency response
-access to embassies around the world
AMERICA, THE UPGRADED!
Once American corporations and the mere 724 American billionaires join America as Platinum Members, all Americans will be automatically upgraded to a portfolio of unparalleled benefits:
- Affordable, comprehensive health care for you, your relatives, your employees, your neighbors, their children, and everyone you might catch something from.
- A heartwarming system of childcare and eldercare.
- Free college education and reeducation and technical schools for all.
- A national high-speed train system.
- Free Wifi.
- Eight weeks of vacation.
- And so much more.
A SINGLE-PARTY SYSTEM
We can move away from a two-party, rights-grabbing, money-grubbing political system to one luxurious system that is one big party for all!
UNITED AND UPGRADED
This glamour-forward approach will rebrand our entire society, making us the model of Capitalism we’re supposed to be!
We will be united and upgraded at last as Americans: The Beautiful People.
I’m just a simple luxury marketing guru, but this adds up to some pretty psychologically-sound fiscal policy to me.
Hermette Magazine is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thanks for reading.
Bothy Project is delighted to announce its open call for Self-Directed Residencies for 2023. Residencies will take place throughout the year at Sweeney’s Bothy, a simple off-grid building in unique surroundings on the Isle of Eigg.
Applications are welcome from practitioners in visual art, craft & design, music, literature, performance and those working across disciplines or in collaboration. Practitioners should be able to demonstrate at least five years of active practice.
Bothy Project residencies offer time and space for contemplation, creativity and focus. It is not necessary for your work to engage with the residency location.
Applications are welcome from practitioners based in the UK and Europe.
How to apply:
Applicants are asked to complete the following online form.
(If you do not have a Gmail account, please contact info@bothyproject.com for application details in PDF form).
Within the form you will be asked to provide:
Some general information
Your preferred month for a residency
Statement of up to 250 words outlining your creative practice
Proposal of up to 250 words outlining what you would like to work on during your residency. Let us know what appeals to you about a Bothy Project Residency and why now is the right time for you to carry out this residency
Single PDF document that includes a CV (no more the two sides of A4) and material relevant to your practice. For example: up to eight images that demonstrate your practice (with captions); up to three examples of writing (no more than 1000 words in total) or up to three links to film/audio extracts (no more than 10 minutes in total)
We ask that applicants read the Travel and Facilities page for Sweeney’s Bothy in advance of applying. This webpage gives details of travel to Eigg, what’s provided at the bothy and various tasks residents need to undertake for themselves, such as chopping wood.
Bothy Project acknowledges that under-represented voices face multiple barriers to cultural participation. We are committed to diversity and creating opportunities open to people who are under-represented. Prior to your application, should you wish to discuss any aspect of the residency or need any more information please email info@bothyproject.com with questions or to arrange a phone call/virtual meeting.
Selection Process:
Applications will be reviewed and selected by Bothy Project staff and board members. Selection will be based on the quality of your ideas and work, as well as your case for why a Bothy Project Self-Directed Residency is of particular benefit to your practice and development at this point in time.
Bothy Project aims to seek a balance in its Self-Directed Residencies between practitioners who have been on residencies before and those who have not.
Self-Directed Residencies are offered at subsidised rates. The subsidised cost for a one week Self-Directed Residency at Sweeney’s Bothy is £450. On accepting a residency place an invoice will be issued and your residency will be confirmed upon payment.
Open call: 3 March-2 April 2023
Application deadline: 11.59pm, 2 April 2023
Selection process: early April 2023
Applicants notified of outcome: late April 2023
Residencies at Sweeney’s Bothy: May, July, September, November & December 2023
Eligibility, accessibility and privacy:
Sweeney’s Bothy is a simple, off-grid, live-work space in a remote and spectacular part of Scotland. The bothy is accessed on foot via a rough, sloped path and the mezzanine bed is reached by a step ladder. If you have any accessibility concerns, please get in touch via email and we will work proactively with you, making every reasonable effort to assist you in taking up an opportunity with us.
Bothy Project welcomes applications from artists irrespective of gender, disability, age, race or ethnicity. We are committed to equality, diversity, fairness and inclusion across all art forms.
Bothy Project is committed to artistic excellence and the professional development of individuals and groups working within the arts and creative industries.
We will not share your details with any third parties without obtaining permission from you to do so.
Please note that we are unable to offer additional support for travel or expenses for self-directed residencies.
Please read the Travel and Facilities page for Sweeney’s Bothy carefully before applying.
Everyone looks more interesting in a wig. That’s a fact.
And downhill skiing needs some club energy. Fact.
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THE SOLUTION: SKI WIGS!
Daring and radical hairstyles will invigorate the melting ski industry with risk-taking lewks that make skiing more fun and fabulous than ever.
The great outdoors and big hair are about to collide in one super-cute meet.
Everyone loves wigs. They’re fun, they’re fierce, they’re glamorous, and they’re hot and itchy.
Why would anyone wear a hot and itchy hat when a person could just as easily wear a hot and itchy wig?
Unlike hats, wigs match any outfit.
And unlike baldness or your own hair, wigs let you impersonate everyone from Mr. Tudball to Tina Turner.
From Marie Antoinette to a British barrister. From Art Garfunkel to Diana Ross. From Crystal Gayle to a cast member of Hairspray. From Edward Scissorhands to Bozo the Clown. Look like Nicki Minaj or Nikki Sixx. Look frum or funky. Snow bunnies, meet Lady Bunny. Look like you went to Patricia Field instead of Dartmouth.
People can hang up their ski wigs on designated racks right next to the chair lifts.
Like a lending library. Like bowling shoes, but with hair. Grab a different wig or toupé or fall for every run.
Best of all, any wig can be worn by anyone, making everyone feel more hirsute and stoked.
The boldness of the wigs could be rated: BEGINNER, INTERMEDIATE, and DOUBLE BLACK DIAMOND.
DOUBLE BLACK DIAMOND WIGS is one tremendous business idea.
Hairy trails are more fun!
Now is the perfect time to feel the wind in someone else’s hair as you hit the slopes during these final weeks of winter.
Excelling in sports is about confidence. A luscious head of hair may be just what you’ve always needed to warm to your own form.
Let’s turn Tuckerman’s Ravine into Wigstock!
Ski wigs will rock the mountainous world from Mad River to Gstaad.
Look like a true pro in the pro shop.
Let’s yodel into the canyons! Tips up!
Thanks for reading Hermette Magazine! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.